How to Build Resilience #1: Gratitude

What is resilience and why bother to build it?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges. And since challenges, in some shape or form, are things we all face every day, being able to recover quickly from them can have a hugely positive impact on our quality of life.

Resilience is not fixed. It can be developed. You can strengthen it, like any muscle, by building in good habits that will help you get back on track when things don’t go to plan. These habits will also change the way you see the world and the way you approach problems - for the better.

After having my life completely overturned with the pandemic (like many people have), I knew I needed to get myself in a good place for whatever was coming next. Uncertainty can be exhausting, but getting sucked into fear and worry isn’t helpful. Instead, I’ve been testing and honing daily habits and practices over the last few months to boost my own resilience.

This blog series is about sharing some of these practices that have positively changed my life over the last few months, the science behind them and practical steps on how to implement them. It’s important to me to write about what I know works (for me anyways…) and as someone with a background in science, I am also curious about how and why things work.

These habits cost nothing to implement, take only a few minutes, and can completely transform yourself, your relationships and your life. I can honestly say now that I’m the happiest I’ve been. And yes, even though things have not gone to plan and there is still huge uncertainty and change.

First up is one of the simplest and one of my favourites: gratitude - being thankful and appreciative for what you have.

Grateful for: nature, a sunrise, sparkling ice crystals, time to myself, a hot cup of tea, my body that can ski in the mountains

How it works

Our minds are pretty extraordinary things and have lots of built-in functions that have served us very well over the course of human evolution. However, some of this functionality can be a hindrance rather than a help in our modern lifestyles.

One of these is known as hedonic adaptation - the process of becoming accustomed to something (either positive or negative) so any emotional effects associated with it are reduced over time.

Put another way: we don’t get the same happiness or joy from things we see or do regularly as we become used to them and can start to take them for granted. Our perceived level of happiness, once elevated when something is new, quickly shifts back to our baseline state of happiness.

For example, you’ll probably find that new jacket isn’t bringing you the same happiness six months later as the day you bought it. Or that good exam result or job promotion doesn’t feel as exciting after a few months. Or that you didn’t think twice about having hot water in your shower this morning, or a comfy bed to sleep in. We quickly get used to any changes and can forget how lucky we are and go back to our usual baseline level.

The simple act of cultivating gratitude prevents this hedonic adaptation, helps us appreciate what we have and look for the good in things.

A study by Emmons and McCullough (2010) showed that participants who wrote down just five things they were grateful for each week boosted their wellbeing, made them feel less ill and made them exercise more. More exercise just by writing a few things down each week? Pretty amazing! The positive impacts of this simple gratitude practice are far-reaching.

When inevitable challenges come along, having greater wellbeing helps us overcome any set backs more quickly, thus being more resilient. I find gratitude also shifts my mindset for the day into a more positive state - one that helps me look for the good in everything and see the silver lining opportunities in the inevitable obstacles or challenges that arise.

Putting it into practice

Take a step back and think about a typical day. Where could you fit in five minutes for gratitude? If you can, try to do it at the same time each day and it should become a habit after a few weeks.

For me, I like the morning - a bit of quiet time to reflect before checking my phone or getting distracted by the day ahead. You might find that lunchtime works better for you - or even last thing at night before you go to sleep.

Using a notebook, piece of paper or even your phone, reflect back over the last day and write down five things you’re grateful for. That’s it! You can write more or less if you want - the key thing is to write it down. When you’re writing, really bring the image to mind of what you feel grateful for and savour the feeling of it.

Speaking of gratitude, I’m hugely grateful for you taking the time to read this blog and would love to know how you get on.

- Hazel